The trailer for The Human Sexipede, starring Amber Rayne, Sunny Lane, Danica Dillan, Jynx Maze, and Kaci Starr (GRR, GOOGLE KEYWORDS!), the latest XXX parody from XXX parody master Tom Byron, first hit the web a couple days ago but was quickly pulled from YouTube. I emailed the production company, hoping to get a new one online, but it might surprise you to learn that porn people aren’t nearly as reliable as you might expect. Anyway, Buzzfeed got it back online and here it is. Strangely, it doesn’t seem to involve poop eating. How am I supposed to get off to this? I also enjoy that the rise in free porn has apparently turned every porn producer into a Borscht-belt comedian. Some of the key lines:
“I’m so dirty that the girls from 2 Girls 1 Cup have to videotape their reactions when they watch me.”
“My balls are so big and blue, they’re like extras from Avatar.”
“And hopefully, I don’t screw it up so that you’re all eating each other’s sh*t.”
(*toilet flush, donkey bray*) Heeeey, be careful out there, folks, we’ve got a mattress in the left-hand lane on the 52 and don’t forget, Terry Fator will be playing the Giggle Tent this Sunday and we’ve got FREE TICKETS, so keep it locked to Frampton and The Wiener! (*bike horn*) Jokes aside, the funny thing is, Tom Byron is way better at parody than Seltzer Friedberg. Aw crap, is that Evan Stone? Ugh. That guy is like the Cam Gigandet of porn.